I think about a million things a minute. A lot of them are about myself- why I'm not living up to the high standards I have set for myself. I always put so much pressure on myself to be good for people. My boyfriend, my parents, school work everything. I often times ask people how I am to them. I asked my boyfriend what he thought of me once and he told me the usual line. You're perfect, smart, everything etc. It makes me wonder what he'd really say if I gave him some truth serum. I don't think I'd be able to handle the truth, though. He'd probably tell me he wished I looked different and that I didn't bitch at him so much. He'd tell me that he wishes I wasn't controlling and not so needy. Maybe say that he wishes I was more athletic and more like his girl friends. Or maybe he'd continue to tell me what he already does, that I'm perfect and smart. I guess I'll never know.
You're telling the reader what he might say, but you're telling it from your point of view, not using quotations, not setting a scene, not hearing the words as you imagine he might really say them. Try a rewrite and actually bring your boyfriend into the paragraph, give him the chance to say the truth of it in his own words.
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