I had a boyfriend once who I thought sun shined out his ass.
Boy, was I wrong. He seemed like the perfect guy, sucked in school, had no job,
no college ambitions and best of all made me feel like crap about myself. I was
so young and stupid I thought these were all admirable traits- or I was just
naïve. I thought that him and I were going to get married when I graduated high
school.
We met through my sister. He was new to the school and befriended her. She took me with them to go four wheeling and fishing. Our relationship turned out as really good friends; after awhile a lot of feelings started to light between us. We started going four wheeling without my sister- just the two of us. We would go riding from early in the morning till late at night and go fishing all day. It was the life. Spending time in the outdoors with a great guy. Eventually, we both expressed our feelings for each other, and soon after we were dating. I thought he was perfect. He was very nice, smart (little did I know he was actually dumber than a pile of rocks) and he was pretty attractive.
Our relationship started to hit off and we had been dating for about a year when I found out about his little "addiction" I was doing some homework with his laptop and needed to go though his history to find a page I had been on. While searching I happened across mass amounts of porn sites. Uh, no. I immediately lashed out on him. Screaming and saying I wasn't good enough for him. He tried to reassure me that I was but I wasn't buying it.
For months I would catch him lying about his addiction and each time it would break me down even more. At this point it hurt me more knowing that he was lying to my face rather than the porn itself. I started to realize that his lying, terrible grades and lack of affection were not for me. The last time that I had caught him lying- this was probably the 30th time and the 10th break up I ended it for good. I knew deep in my hear that he wasn't the man for me and never would be. His lack of dedication to our relationship really drove it home for me. I told myself there was someone better out there for me and there was. Sometimes I wonder if I was too hard on him for his porn addiction, but then I realize that my current boyfriend doesn't have that issue so I don't feel bad at all.
We met through my sister. He was new to the school and befriended her. She took me with them to go four wheeling and fishing. Our relationship turned out as really good friends; after awhile a lot of feelings started to light between us. We started going four wheeling without my sister- just the two of us. We would go riding from early in the morning till late at night and go fishing all day. It was the life. Spending time in the outdoors with a great guy. Eventually, we both expressed our feelings for each other, and soon after we were dating. I thought he was perfect. He was very nice, smart (little did I know he was actually dumber than a pile of rocks) and he was pretty attractive.
Our relationship started to hit off and we had been dating for about a year when I found out about his little "addiction" I was doing some homework with his laptop and needed to go though his history to find a page I had been on. While searching I happened across mass amounts of porn sites. Uh, no. I immediately lashed out on him. Screaming and saying I wasn't good enough for him. He tried to reassure me that I was but I wasn't buying it.
For months I would catch him lying about his addiction and each time it would break me down even more. At this point it hurt me more knowing that he was lying to my face rather than the porn itself. I started to realize that his lying, terrible grades and lack of affection were not for me. The last time that I had caught him lying- this was probably the 30th time and the 10th break up I ended it for good. I knew deep in my hear that he wasn't the man for me and never would be. His lack of dedication to our relationship really drove it home for me. I told myself there was someone better out there for me and there was. Sometimes I wonder if I was too hard on him for his porn addiction, but then I realize that my current boyfriend doesn't have that issue so I don't feel bad at all.
But whoa! This isn't a story, not yet. Good love done gone bad is certainly a fine premise for a story, but to make this into a genuine narrative you have to do much more than simply state the premise--you have to create on the page all three characters, you have to set up your trust and faith in Mr Romeo, you have to give us the scene of discovery, you have to give us the tears, the screaming, the etcetera etcetera.
ReplyDeleteTry a rewrite.
Yes, your paragraph 4 here starts to home in on the story, give us a sense of what was going on.
ReplyDelete